5 books to encourage the offended

Earlier this week, I asked asked the fine folks on Twitter to recommend a book to help someone work through feelings of offense. As I’m finding is frequently the case, I can always count on you guys to come up with great recommendations.

Here are a few of the highlights:


People Pleasing by Lou Priolo (P & R, 2007)

Full of Scripture and challenging to the reader, Pleasing People takes aim at a problem common in all of us: the desire to be liked by others. But the book also wisely delineates when pleasing people is biblical. The penetrating exercises throughout the text will help readers see how this sin manifests itself in their lives. Pleasing People will be useful for both personal reading and group study.

Learn more or buy it at: Amazon | Westminster Books

When You’ve Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness by Erwin Lutzer (Moody, 2007)

Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but healing and reconciliation often is not. Time and again after we’ve tried every option and failed, all we are left with is a load of guilt and pain. Best-selling author Erwin Lutzer shows how the blessing the Lord gives to those who suffer unjustly is worth the pain involved. He also illustrates the need to leave our broken relationships in the hands of God, and move forward in our lives toward freedom. It is only through His healing power that we can overcome the bitterness and resentment that has overtaken our world.

Learn more or buy it at: Amazon


When People Are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch (P & R, 1997)

Overly concerned about what people think of you? Welch uncovers the spiritual dimension of people-pleasing and points the way through a true knowledge of God, ourselves, and others.

Learn more or buy it at: Amazon | Westminster Books

Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend (Zondervan, 1992)

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances — Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions — Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others — Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator — Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: – Can I set limits and still be a loving person? – What are legitimate boundaries? – What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? – How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? – Aren’t boundaries selfish? – Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

Learn more or buy it at: Amazon

Bridges 364

Who Am I? by Jerry Bridges (Cruciform Press, 2012)

A direct, honest presentation of biblical truth, and all new material from Jerry Bridges, Who Am I? demonstrates for believers that they can and should rightfully claim for themselves an unshakeable, lifelong, personal foundation of confidence in one thing and one thing alone: the gospel of a victorious, resurrected Savior.

Learn more or buy it at: Amazon | Westminster Books

Those are just a few of the books recommended—what other books would you recommend to someone struggling with feelings of offense?

Posted by Aaron Armstrong

Aaron is the author of several books for adults and children, as well as multiple documentaries and Bible studies. His latest book, I'm a Christian—Now What?: A Guide to Your New Life with Christ is available now.

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One Reply to “5 books to encourage the offended”

  1. Thanks for these. I heartily recommend the Ed Welch book as well. It’s good not just for dealing with offense taken but in helping believers formulate a Christian outlook for all areas of life.

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