“Perfect,” I said to no one in particular on Saturday afternoon. “This is just perfect.” I got out of the car after I was rear-ended. The damage doesn’t seem too severe, and I’m thankful for that. The driver who hit me immediately owned it, and I’m thankful for that too.
But—and there’s always a “but”—it was yet another setback in a year filled with them.
I know I’m not alone in this of course. In fact, I’m sure that some of you reading this have experienced greater challenges that my family has. But regardless of the specifics, many of us have had times like this, where every time it appears we’re making some headway, we’re met with another setback.
And when that happens, the last thing you want to be told is to “consider it all joy” (James 1:2–3).
Remembering the purpose of the mess
While you will 100% read those words in Scripture, we have to remember that they are about an overall perspective. They remind us that all of our trials, difficulty, and suffering have a purpose. That nothing that happens in this world is entirely meaningless or unable to be used by God to shape our character.
To become people who look more and more like Jesus with each passing day.
That’s easy to say and hard to live, of course. It’s hard to keep any kind of perspective in the moment. Which, I suppose, is why we need to be reminded of it so frequently. (Or I do, at any rate.)
3 ways to be thankful in the middle of the mess
So practically, what do we do to cultivate that mindset—to be thankful in the middle of the mess? Because we’re not going to see it happen just by repeating James 1:2 as though it were some kind of mantra or magic spell. Instead, there are three basic practices I’ve found helpful in being thankful when overcoming one obstacle is met with another:
1. Be honest.
It is no small thing to say, “this [year/situation] has been difficult.” It is not a sign of failure or a lack of faith. Being honest is an act of faith—a willingness to see the world as it really is, and not try to put any kind of spin on it. So be honest with God, and with your friends and family. With reverence and realism, speak the truth.
2. Ask for wisdom.
James 1:5 encourages us to ask for wisdom in our difficulties—to ask God to help us to keep our eyes on that greater perspective; for our hearts to be controlled by Christ so that we can respond the way we are meant to (Colossians 3:15). God will not hesitate to give us the wisdom we need; he promises to do so! And with that, we will be able to see our situations more clearly.
3. Ask for help.
Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help from your community. When you need help, ask! We are called to bear one another’s burdens, whether those burdens are emotional, spiritual, or physical (Galatians 6:2). And this is probably the hardest part of all for those of us living in the West, especially in the United States, where sola-bootstrappa is our guiding (and damning) principle. We want to believe we can do everything ourselves; that with enough grit and willpower and hard work we can overcome every obstacle. But we can’t. At least, I know I can’t. But we can help one another. And there’s something beautiful in that.
No quick fixes
None of these practices are quick fix solutions. You may not immediately feel better about your circumstances, or see them change (although I’m not saying that that won’t happen, either). And whether the mess is as bad a week from now or things have improved a little, I promise you this: you will have moments you can be thankful for.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
